Bad Movie Plots and Okay State Rankings!
Bad Movie Plots and Okay State Rankings!
We summarize a popular film, and dive into two less popular states.
Happy Friday, Okay History friends! We are back with some state rankings, but first, let’s take a moment to remember a legend.
James Dean died in a car crash on September 30, 1955. He was 24.
Dean was in three movies. Two debuted after his death and received two Academy Award nominations posthumously.
His first movie was East of Eden, written by the great John Steinbeck. The book sits on my shelf, having only read the first two chapters. His second film, Rebel Without a Cause, launched Dean into all-time status as a superstar.
Have you ever watched this movie? Let me summarize the plot (SPOILER ALERT FOR A MOVIE THAT IS 67 YEARS OLD):
The story revolves around three teenagers, one of whom killed a litter of puppies because his parents were never home. Fortunately, it wasn’t Dean’s character, but my goodness, this is the plot line?
Dean goes to high school and is shunned by Natalie Wood. Instead, he befriends mister Dog Killer, who thinks of Dean as his daddy or something. Oh, there’s a gang whose leader is named Buzz, which probably sounded scary in 1955, but in 2022 is the name of a toy.
Natalie is down with Buzz’s gang, and for some reason, Buzz wants to fight Dean with a knife. What’s with Natalie Wood and her lovers getting to knife fights? Is this the worst case of type-casting?
Dean beats up Buzz because Dean is the title character, so Buzz challenges Dean to a car race, which Buzz obviously dies in, but has the last laugh because Dean died earlier in real life in an actual car crash. It makes you wonder what audiences were thinking when they saw this.
With Buzz dead, Natalie is free to move on with Dean, just as the script requests, and they immediately fall in love. Dog Killer then holes himself up with a gun after shooting the remaining members of Buzz’s gang, and Dean and Wood find him just as the police move in on him.
Convincing Dog Killer to give up, and Dog Killer thinking Dean is his daddy, he hands over the gun. Dean removes the bullets but hands the gun back to him, and when Dog Killer walks out, gun in hand, the police light him up like a Christmas tree, saving us all from the eventual serial killer Dog Killer was on the path to becoming. Dean instantly forgets about Dog Killer and connects with his parents with Wood by his side.
The end.
Okay, let's go to the next round of state rankings!
32: Oklahoma
Founded: November 16, 1907
46th State
Do I know the state capital off the top of my head? Norman (Wrong! Oklahoma City)
Have I been there? Yes
Do I want to go back? Not really.
The Good:
The Indigenous people’s culture. There are 25 languages spoken in Oklahoma due to the merger of the Indian and Oklahoma Territories in 1907. Sure, we shoved them all there due to resettlement, but the Sooner state has done an excellent job ensuring we have a place where these civilizations are still alive.
The Bad:
Oklahoma attracts tornados like I attract tourists looking for directions. It’s consistent, it’s annoying, and there’s nothing we can do to prevent it.
The weather, coming in from all directions, a mixture of humidity, cold, and hot air, creates a cocktail called Tornado Alley, which runs north and south from Nebraska, through Kansas, and then down to Oklahoma, which ranks in the top ten for frequent tornados.
The Ugly:
I was a freshman in college, and I remember watching the news in a friend’s dorm. Why do we always remember where we are when bad stuff happens?
Why did we rank it here?
I traveled to Oklahoma as a kid to attend my older brother’s graduation from boot camp in the army. It felt like it took a week to drive from Ohio. Sitting in the back of a Toyota van, I remember telling myself I would never do this again. It’s not Oklahoma’s fault.
Also, I’m impressed that Oklahoma City, a place I completely forgot about when trying to remember the state’s capital, stole a professional sports team from a much cooler place when the Seattle Supersonics left. Placing them in the low 30s seems right.
31: Nebraska
Founded: March 1, 1867
37th State
Do I know the state capital off the top of my head? Lincoln
Have I been there? No.
Do I want to go? Yes, to Omaha, to watch Xavier play Creighton in college basketball.
The Good:
Nebraska is the home of the Union Pacific Railroad. I love trains. As a country, I wish we would invest in building the railroad system and use it as an effective mode of transportation.
It cuts down on pollution. This means we can fly less, so we don’t have to settle for those silly peanuts they give you on the flight. Also, has anyone ever seen a video of someone drunk on a train acting like a jerk? I bet no one has ever.
The Bad:
Nebraska is also the home of Warren Buffet. He is worth $97 billion and is listed as the sixth wealthiest man in the world.
I just think having that much wealth is bad. Eat the rich and all that. However, Buffet seems like a nice man. So start with everyone else, and save him for dessert.
The Ugly:
Nebraska does not have a professional sports team. To fill this void, the University of Nebraska plays at the highest level of college athletics. And nothing is more important in college athletics than football.
When the Cornhuskers play at home on Saturdays in the fall, their stadium instantly becomes the third largest city in the state when 85,000 plus packs the stands.
Nebraska has won five national titles, boasts three Heisman trophy winners, and fifty-four All-Americans have suited up for the red and the white. To put it simply, Nebraska has one of the best programs in the country.
Or it used to.
They recently fired their head coach, Scott Frost, who won one of those national titles, after he spent the five years losing to everyone by one point. His best season came in 2019 when Nebraska won five games out of a scheduled twelve. He won 16 games total in this span before being canned, going 1-2 to begin his sixth season. It’s been ugly.
But hey, he walks away with millions. If only I could fail that forward.
Why did we rank it here?
Kool-Aid was created in Nebraska in 1927. In fact, it’s the official soft drink of the state. Kool-Aid. That’s just awesome. But not awesome enough to crack into the top 30.
Did Kool-Aid come in different flavors, or am I making that up?
My prayers go out to all family and friends who live in Florida or have family and friends who do. Hurricane Ian has been a devastating storm that strengthened once it hit land.
I still don’t get the concept of naming professional sports teams after natural disasters, but then again, I don’t sit on any of these committees.
Now that we are back to ranking the states, we have plenty to run through, and I remind everyone that my rankings can be bought. Until Monday, I hope you have a great weekend.
Cheers!