Better Choco-Late Than Never!
Read about one weird relationship I have had and the next three states I ranked!
Greetings from Reno! Happy Friday to you, my wonderful friends, and thanks for supporting Okay History.
If I were with you in person, I’d give you a piece of chocolate as a token of my appreciation.
Happy National Chocolate Day!
I have had a unique relationship with chocolate over the years. Growing up, I ate it like crazy, as any normal child would do. Every holiday was another opportunity to wolf down every piece of chocolate I could find.
When I got to high school, the cafeteria sold Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups. I made sure I had 50 cents every day. This ensured that once I ended my athletic career as a junior and stopped exercising, I would definitely gain forty pounds in about six months.
My relationship with chocolate and caffeine, in general, abruptly stopped in the middle of my freshman year of college. I basically had an anxiety attack, went to the emergency room, and felt like I was going to die. In the weeks following, my heart would pound, reminding me that death was at the door—a fun way to live.
I saw a couple of cardiologists, and one told me to stay away from chocolate and caffeine. Since I pretty much always do what I am told, I banished chocolate and caffeine for the next twenty years.
I explained to people that I was “allergic” to chocolate, even though I was never officially diagnosed, which caused friends and family to rightfully make fun of me in a very loving and supportive way.
In 2015, chocolate and I got back together. And it has been a wonderful reunion. I drink coffee daily, and Anonymous gives me peanut butter cups from Trader Joe’s every night before I go to bed. She has to hide the entire container of them from me, which I appreciate because if she didn’t, I’d revert to seventeen-year-old me and devour them in one sitting.
So have some chocolate, and don’t be a weirdo like me!
Okay, let's go to the next round of state rankings! We remain on the three-state track!
22: Vermont
Founded: March 4, 1791
14th state
Do I know the state capital off the top of my head? Montpelier?
Have I been there? No.
Do I want to go? Not really.
The Good:
Vermont leads the country in the production of maple syrup. Who doesn’t like maple syrup? That would mean you don’t like French toast, waffles, chicken and waffles, and of course, pancakes. If you can’t get with maple syrup, you have eliminated every self-care breakfast meal of the fall.
Vermont produces 2.5 million gallons of the stuff each year. I use approximately 100 gallons each time I eat pancakes. Thank you, Vermont, for your service.
The Bad:
What’s with these nice, outdoorsy states, like Washington, where it becomes insanely expensive to live there? Vermont is #10 on the list of the most expensive state to reside in.
I like how these rankings gauge the price of milk, even though milk consumption has decreased each of the past seven decades. Let’s see the cost of rail whiskey or something more important.
The Ugly:
Vermont has a place called Terrible Mountain. It sits in the middle of the state, just on the eastern edge of the Green Mountain National Forest.
On March 19, 1968, seven men flying in a small plane encountered a terrible winter storm and crashed into Terrible Mountain. There were no survivors. Terrible.
Why did I rank it here?
This is the end of the northeast states. Rhode Island is #48, upsetting Aunt Joan terribly. Connecticut was #39, New Hampshire is ranked #38, while Maine is #37, proving I was thinking about all of them at the same time and probably forgot about Vermont. Massachusetts comes the closest at #26.
Maple Syrup pushes Vermont to the top. Plus, they are pretty progressive. I also have a fondness for Howard Dean, the former governor and presidential candidate in 2004, who, after placing third in the 2004 Iowa caucus, let out a crazy scream to try and rally supporters.
It didn’t work.
21: Minnesota
Founded: May 11, 1858
32nd State
Do I know the state capital off the top of my head? Minneapolis? (Saint Paul – that was my second choice)
Have I been there? No
Do I want to go? Strangely, yes.
The Good:
Minnesota is considered the Land of Lakes. The well-known butter company, Land ‘O Lakes, is based there.
Minnesota has just over 14,000 lakes, well above the moniker it promotes as the state of 10,000 lakes. I’m not sure who was counting, but I would get pretty tired counting lakes after about 10, so it doesn’t surprise me to add a couple of zeroes and call it a day.
I’m a fan of lakes. Did you know the difference between a lake and a pond is that a lake has to be large enough to have a wave-swept shore? That’s something that limnologists, people who study lakes, have defined it.
Don’t tell me you don’t learn something by reading OKH.
The Bad:
If lakes aren’t your thing and you are more into larger bodies of water, such as oceans, then Minnesota is not a place you would want to live in.
Weirdly, Minnesota is equally distant from both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
I love the ocean even more than lakes. I couldn’t imagine being stuck in a place without easy access to a beach house.
The Ugly:
There used to be a steamer called the Sea Dog that existed in the late 1880s. It used to run up and down the Mississippi River, and from time to time, it would set out for one of the larger lakes in the state.
In July 1890, the Sea Dog was caught in a violent storm, capsized, and sank in Lake Pipen, which is towards the state’s southeastern part.
Ninety-eight people died. It was a Sunday, and people on board were dressed in their Sunday best, and historians believe the heavy clothing the women wore that day weighed them down, and they couldn’t swim.
I did not enjoy learning about this ugly tragedy. Not that I enjoy reading about any ugly tragedy, but you get the point.
Why did I rank it here?
Minnesotans have the reputation of being incredibly nice. There’s even a phrase for it: Minnesota Nice. It’s both enduring and annoying. It’s the sort of thing that shoots Minnesota up the rankings but, at the same time, prevents them from ascending to the top.
If I told someone from Minnesota I ranked it #21 in my mediocre state ranking series, that person would be okay with it.
20: Michigan
Founded: January 26, 1837
26th State
Do I know the state capital off the top of my head? Lansing
Have I been there? Yes.
Do I want to go back? Why not? Sure!
The Good:
Michigan is the home of the automobile industry. Detroit became a booming city in the early to mid-parts of the 20th century due to the explosion of car production. General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler all claim Michigan home and have given us everything from pick-up trucks to sedans to stupid loud muscle cars so bros can feel special.
The Bad:
The car industry got into big trouble when the recession hit in 2008. Having produced big gas-guzzling vehicles, these cars quickly became undesirable who wanted more fuel-efficient options.
This meant Ford, GM, and Chrysler had inventory no one wanted and no way out unless the US Government, meaning me and you, bailed them out.
And boy, did we. We gave around $40 billion in two bailouts to GM and Chrysler, who used the money to cut jobs and eliminate a few car brands. My wife and I happen to own a 2008 Saturn Vue, a reminder of a time when a good car company got thrown out the window so we could keep crappy cars on the market. It makes complete sense.
The Ugly:
In 2020, thirteen people plotted to kidnap and murder Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer.
They were stopped by an FBI informant who recorded their stupid ideas to pool money to buy weapons and explosives. Their motivation? Who knows, they are self-deputized ding-a-lings who think they understand the Constitution and are stuck on the ideas of the Revolution, which ended when we formed this country.
Thankfully, we just convicted three of them.
Why did I rank it here?
I’m not a fan of the Michigan Wolverines football program, but I can respect those who do. But it would be wrong of me to rank Michigan lower simply because of that. I mean, I have to make some sense of this process.
One of my clients is a small university in the Upper Peninsula, and they couldn’t be nicer. They are almost Minnesota Nice. But Michigan feels like a top twenty state, so here they sit.
October is Mental Health Awareness Month, and as the days get darker sooner and colder, I hope everyone takes care of themselves over the next few months. I was diagnosed with acute depression in 2005, which shifts into hyperdrive this time of year. As the years go on, I feel I have a better handle on it, but I will never be 100% all the time.
If you ever feel unwell and can’t figure out why, please reach out to me, and I’m happy to help in any way I can. But I will offer this; therapy is excellent. Talking to a professional and doing it consistently has zero downsides. The most significant shift in my life was when I stopped dumping everything on my friends and turned to a counselor, who now, years later, continues to right my course whenever I feel off-track.
Be well! Have a great weekend and see you on Monday.
Okay,
Chris