BLACK FRIDAY STARTS NOW!
BLACK FRIDAY STARTS NOW!
We ramp up the Christmas season and the final state rankings.
Happy Friday, Okay History friends! I’m thankful to all of you!
I’m sorry I didn’t drop a Maundy Monday Newsletter. As I mentioned last week, I was in Paris with Anonymous for a long weekend. I’m that guy now. I take long weekends in Paris.
We made it back to the states in time for Thanksgiving, a holiday they do not celebrate in France for some reason. What they do celebrate is something we celebrate today: BLACK FRIDAY.
Paris is filled with two things. Cafes and signs that say BLACK FRIDAY sales are happening. At least, we think they were happening when we were there, which was last Friday. We couldn’t figure out when BLACK FRIDAY sales stopped since there didn’t seem to be an official beginning.
I understand the history behind Thanksgiving, where we lured our Indigenous friends to a feast before we infected them with our plagues and then murdered them and took their lands for the next few centuries. All so that we can watch the Dallas Cowboys play football and practice our gluttony.
BLACK FRIDAY had its roots in Philadelphia when people flooded the city the day after Thanksgiving to prepare for the annual Army/Navy football game. The police hated this day because, with so many out and about, crime increased as shoplifters preyed on retail stores, distracted by the waves of shoppers. The cops called it BLACK FRIDAY, and just like that, the moniker stuck.
Over the next few decades, retailers have tried to capitalize on spinning the name into something positive, and nothing says positive than selling goods at a discount! Around 1985, BLACK FRIDAY was a thing across the country, and it even expanded into the weekend and spurred Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday. Giving Tuesday has been popular since 2011, with the idea that after binge-consuming for three or four days, you’ll be guilted into giving to charities.
So Happy BLACK FRIDAY! It starts now!
Okay, let's go to the next round of state rankings! I have two states today, giving you some time to buy me something special.
10: Florida
Founded: March 3, 1845
27th state
Do I know the state capital off the top of my head? Tallahassee
Have I been there? Yes.
Do I want to go back? If I want to stay married longer than 60 days, yes.
The Good:
Anonymous. She grew up in Florida. She will tell you, “She’s from there,” but don’t be fooled. This lovely lady was born in Cleveland, just like her man. I smile when she tells me she is a Southern Girl.
Not that I disagree, it’s just funny. We will talk after she reads this, which will be a good time.
Seriously, Anonymous is the greatest person in my life. I’m very lucky. Also, Florida is very lucky she claims it home.
The Bad:
Oh my goodness, where to begin? Do I mention Trayvon Martin? Caylee Anthony? How about the teenagers who lit a classmate on fire over $40? Or how about the latest light your classmate on fire from a few months ago?
There are some wild crimes committed in Florida, and it seems like the verdict always goes the other way.
The Ugly:
I was beginning my sophomore year of high school in August 1992. That year the Cleveland Guardians signed a 20-year lease with the city of Homestead, Florida, to play spring training at their state-of-the-art sports complex.
At the beginning of the month, the club was moving its equipment from Arizona to begin the process of relocating. But on August 25, 1992, Hurricane Andrew slammed into the city, destroying the stadium, and Homestead has yet to recover.
Andrew was a Category 5 hurricane and the first hurricane I remember since it involved my favorite baseball team. The city tried to rebuild the stadium, hoping to land another team, but in 2017, Hurricane Irma destroyed it again. It was like God telling Homestead you will not have a spring training facility.
Why did I rank it here?
The other week, Anonymous was wondering where I would put Florida. Knowing it would at least be in the top ten, which surprised her, she did mention expecting the Sunshine state to make it all the way to the top.
I think she will be happy to see where Florida landed right up until she sees who is fifth or third.
9: Delaware
Founded: December 7, 1787
1st State
Do I know the state capital off the top of my head? Dover? (YES!)
Have I been there? Yes
Do I want to go back? Definitely.
The Good:
As I mentioned, I grew up in Ohio. There’s like one beach in the entire state, and no one goes there. Most of my friends who traveled to the beach went to either Florida or South Carolina. My family spent the summers in Tennessee and Pennsylvania.
It wasn’t until I moved to Washington, DC did I begin my relationship with the beach, specifically the ones that run along the state of Delaware. I was not well educated when it came to interacting with the beach. Like I used to walk into the ocean backward because I didn’t want the waves to hit my face. Not very smart.
I also learned that my feet are made of skin and, therefore, can be burned by the summer sun. Important note.
Now, I’m an old hand when it comes to the Atlantic Ocean. Sure the beaches of Delaware might not be the best, but I do love them because they are mine. I dive in with my sunscreen-covered feet and sit in the OOOOshin for hours.
The Bad:
Delaware has more corporations than people. There are roughly 1 million residents and just slightly more companies.
Why is this?
Because Delaware has the friendliest corporate tax system in the country. Many call it a haven, and when you have a haven, that usually means to me that you are doing something bad.
More than 60% of Fortune 500 companies are incorporated in Delaware. Why are the other 40% missing out on the sweet deal here?
The Ugly:
Do you remember Christine O’Donnell? She was the Republican candidate for the US Senate race in Delaware in 2010. She was also the candidate in 2008 when she ran against Joe Biden and took in 35% of the vote.
But it was 2010 that made O’Donnell infamous. She upset her wildly favorite opponent in the primary, a guy who used to be a Congressman and LT. Governor. If you remember, 2010 was when the Tea Party became a thing and swept through the country, showing everyone how stupid Americans can be if we try hard enough.
The seat Biden gave up was prime to flip to the GOP with the more popular guy. However, with O’Donnell’s win, that flip never happened because Christine proved to be a bit of a loony.
Earlier in her career, O’Donnell worked for the Republican National Committee in their communications office. This meant she frequently appeared on cable news shows, the ones where people are jabbering on, and at the end of the night, you can’t sleep because you think the world is going to end.
She also appeared on the equally nonsensical show Politically Incorrect. It is on this show that O’Donnell confessed to dabbling in witchcraft when she went on a date one night and had a picnic on a satanic altar.
Now she might have gotten away with this mistake from the past in the 2022 election cycle, but in 2010, the people of Delaware weren’t having a witch represent them.
The narrative got so bad that it needed to be addressed. Hilariously, O’Donnell gave us this gem.
None of us are perfect, especially witches. Also, I’m reminded of this Delawarean guy.
Why did I rank it here?
There’s something to be said about being confident. Delaware was the first colony to step up and declare that the United States should be a thing and ratify the Constitution. The early leaders of Delaware were strong proponents of a central government and equal representation of the states.
I love the process of how states became states and Delaware led the way. You can’t have 50 states until you have number one. That, plus the beaches, makes this an easy top-ten choice.
It’s officially the Christmas season, and I plan to complete the state rankings the week before the big day. That’s three weeks away, which means the grand finale will feature five states. I hope I can keep you guessing who will end up on top, and we have some great states still left on the board.
I’ll see you all on Monday with another Maundy Morning Newsletter. Have a great weekend, everyone!
Okay,
Chris