Come On
Good Friday morning, Okay History friends! I appreciate you spending some time reading and supporting my work.
This week kicked off the presidential election primary season. We saw former President Donald Trump defeat his Republican challenger, former South Carolina Governor and United Nations Ambassador Nikki Haley, in the New Hampshire primary.
It was a decisive victory for the 45th president, who most likely thought he had defeated former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. No doubt, when it was explained to him who he actually beat, he immediately thought he had won twice.
For this moment, we pause for those who cast their ballot for Trump in 2024.
On the other side, we saw the current president, Joe Biden, win in an even more convincing fashion, even though he skipped the primary for some reason and only won because people wrote his name on the ballot. He defeated two people who never stood a chance of winning but most likely complained to someone about it.
We are ticking down – there are only ten more months of this stuff. You can only look at two outcomes and conclude, “Come On.”
Have you ever been excited about a presidential election? Maybe in 2008, when Barack Obama ran, but for the most part, we approach our elections like a trip to the dentist. It’s not fun, but we feel it's necessary for our overall health.
We continue to rank the presidential elections, and the next two instantly make you wish you spent all day at the dentist.
We see other branches of the federal government deciding who will be in the White House for the next four years, and the Come On vibes are here to stay.
Let's dive in.
57: The Presidential Election of 2000
Election Date: November 7, 2000
The Candidates:
Vice President Al Gore, inventor of the internet and defender of the climate, secured the Democratic nomination.
Former Texas Ranger Baseball Club Owner and then-current Texas Governor George W. Bush emerged as the Republican nominee after a grueling primary process. Looks like we will be spared in this cycle. Is that good or bad? Don’t we ask the same question of a root canal?
Bush’s Dad, George HW Bush, was the last sitting Vice President to win the White House at that point, and before him, you had to go way back to Martin Van Buren in 1836.
We had two inspiring candidates to choose from.
Major Issue of the Day:
We had concluded the impeachment of President Bill Clinton, who lied to everyone that he hadn’t had sexual relations with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. We saw one Speaker of the House, Bob Livingston, publicly resign the position due to his infidelity. This guy replaced the guy who left because of ethical violations that were outside his extramarital affair. Come On, everybody. Stick to your wife.
We were all being introduced to the internet, and technological advances were… advancing pretty quickly. Who knew I needed a phone on me at all times? Steve Jobs, apparently.
We partied like it was 1999, and 2000 rolled in and didn’t launch Terminator, so that was good.
The economy was good. The Cleveland Browns weren’t. And I still hadn’t read many books.
The Winner:
Privilege.
Before that word became a household term some twenty years later, it was implemented in real-time.
The first election of the 21st century was decided by the All-American Way.
Former President HW Bush nominated two Supreme Court Justices in the early 1990s, building upon the four placed by his predecessor during the 1980s. These people ultimately decided his son’s presidential election some years later, with help from his other son, who delivered a crucial state.
The 2000 election was a Bush Family Reunion we were all invited to and didn’t ask to be there.
Gore’s family tree was a stump. His father was merely a United States Senator, and he died in 1998. You can’t win a tug-of-war contest when your side doesn’t have anyone but you, while the other side has Uncle Clarence, Aunt Sandra, and the annoying younger brother who is at the front sneering at you.
After losing, Gore did the unthinkable: He conceded and asked the country to come together and support the new president, who had won the White House on a Supreme Court decision to halt a recount in Florida.
If Gore only had a brother in West Virginia, Utah, or Nebraska, the outcome would have been different.
The 2021 OKH Presidential Ranking:
Bush came in at 33, one rank higher than the guy we ranked last week.
He was bad all around. He invaded pretty much everyone and then, before it was all over, told us that the Mission was Accomplished. His tax cuts didn’t help, and by the end, we left the reunion with a housing crisis and a great recession as parting gifts.
I doubt he will move up anytime soon. If he did, this country would be headed in the wrong direction. It would be so bad you would wish you were going to the dentist.
The States in the Electoral College:
50, including the District of Columbia.
Gore barely won the popular vote despite being a part of an administration that wasn’t terribly popular by the time the election rolled around.
Bush, for his part, was able to flip the following states:
West Virginia, Ohio, and Kentucky, completing the Henry Clay trifecta.
He also turned Louisiana, Arkansas, Missouri, Arizona, Nevada, and New Hampshire like they were the apple desserts you eat at family reunions.
Oh, and Florida. Thanks, JEB. JEB Bush. Doesn’t that sound like a Confederate General? I bet if you looked up Joe Hooker, it would show you he lost a battle to JEB Bush.
To make matters worse for Gore, DC did not submit a vote, so Gore ended up with 266. So he actually just needed a brother in Nevada to win.
There were 538 members of the Electoral College, and the winner needed to secure 270 votes.
Why Did I Rank it Here:
Every night on the Evening News, we learned how ballots were counted thanks to the mess in Florida. The term “Hanging Chad” was a part of our lexicon for years, and we found out the hard way that not every county counts their votes in the same way, which is why the Supreme Court ruled the way it did.
In Bush vs. Gore, the Court ruled 5-4 that the Florida recount must stop due to equal protection laws under the Fourteenth Amendment, which happens to be the country’s favorite amendment at the moment.
If I remember correctly, the Court stated that this was a one-time ruling and that no future court could reference it in any case should the situation arise. I don’t know where this idea came from, but Come On.
Next, let’s take a step back to when presidential elections were really screwed up. Back when there was no Twelfth Amendment.
Let’s dive in.
56: The Presidential Election of 1800
Election Date: October 31 – December 3, 1800
The Candidates:
John Adams, the second president, was seeking reelection as a member of the Federalist Party.
His opponent was Thomas Jefferson, who at the time served as Adams's Vice President because he had lost the previous election in 1796. Jefferson was a member of the Democratic-Republicans, and we began our identification with our gangs.
Oh, there was also another candidate, although no one, including himself, knew it at the time. That would be Aaron Burr, who, after serving as a senator, had opened a bank called the Manhattan Company.
Major Issue of the Day:
The Alien and Sedition Act was a major problem in the country, which meant a significant problem for President Adams.
We had a debt to pay off the Revolution we won just a few years before.
The French Revolution was in full effect, and we didn’t have much of a foreign policy to speak of.
The Winner:
Aaron Burr.
The guy was running for Vice President and came within five states of securing the White House. He was like Mike Pence or Kalama Harris, who both took on the job of Vice President knowing the guy ahead of them was not going to make it through his term; only Burr had a chance to skip the part where Jefferson died.
The 1800 election did not have the mechanism of separating the President from the Vice President, so if you were a Democratic-Republican and voted along party lines, you gave Jefferson and Burr the same amount of electoral votes.
Burr took advantage of this loophole and forced his way to a contingency vote in House, where he lost to Jefferson. I’m sure both men uttered at one point Come On.
The 2021 OKH Presidential Ranking:
I ranked Jefferson 4th. He did many things well and a few things not so well. I don’t think you could have said the same for President Burr, who still ranks highly on the I-Killed Alexander Hamilton rankings.
I don’t think Jefferson can break through, so 4th is probably his ceiling.
The States in the Electoral College:
16. No new states entered the union since the election of 1796, the year Tennessee came in. It wouldn’t be until 1803 when Ohio came on board, but not really, that we added another state.
There were 138 members of the Electoral College, and the winner needed to secure 70 votes.
Why Did I Rank it Here:
I probably have this ranked too low, but it involves my favorite American Historical Figure – Alex H.
Much like Henry Clay, Hamilton worked the backrooms and made deals to ensure Jefferson, a man he hated a little less, won.
The lesser of two evils. Sounds like a common theme in every election.
It would have been a better story had Burr pulled the upset.
So, what do you think about my rankings? Fair? What did you enjoy on your last dentist visit?
I have good news to share! My computer came back fully functional on Tuesday afternoon. It’s so good to have everything back in place. Thanks to my friends at Dell for fixing it so quickly. If you know anyone at Dell, please pass this along.
My eye is completely healed! I can see in both eyes. Do not take your sight for granted.
Anonymous is in Cleveland for the day. A day trip to Cleveland - a thing only a spy could love. I think she is just getting lazy with her cover stories, “Hey Babe, I’m off to Cleveland for the day. I’ll be home tomorrow evening. Love you.”
Come On.
She’s probably interrogating some foreign bad guy down the street.
Okay, I’ll be back on Monday with a Maundy Morning Newsletter. The nation’s capital is warming up this weekend, but it’s still January when it should be cold.
COME ON!
Okay,
Chris
