GOP Amusement

Enter a fantasy world of a GOP presidential nominee-themed park.

Hello, Okay History Friends! Happy Midweek of a short week.

A couple of weeks ago, Anonymous and I were lamenting another summer had passed, and we didn’t make it to an amusement park – something we both enjoy.

Over the past few years, we traveled to numerous places around us – Hersey Park, Six Flags, and Kings Dominion. Once, we made the trek to the amusement park mecca – Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. If you like amusement parks and have never been to Cedar Point – do yourself a favor and go.

As we reminisced, we began discussing what makes a good amusement park and what funny themes we could think of.

With the GOP having their first presidential debate, the idea struck – a GOP presidential nominee-themed amusement park.

I’m excited to share what I came up with.

But first – let’s review the seven parameters of what makes a good amusement park. In no particular order:

1.       Rides and Attractions

At the heart of every amusement park are the rides and attractions. These thrilling experiences are the primary reason for people to visit. Nothing says thrilling than watching eight people who think they have a realistic chance of becoming the president of the United States.

2.       Entertainment

You got to have live entertainment at amusement parks. You need spectacular shows, street performers, and those characters meet and greet that enhance the excitement and engagement. The GOP has plenty of characters, and you may have to change your view of what entertainment means.

3.       Food and Dining

Amusement parks are known for their diverse food offerings. You need your basics, like hotdogs, cotton candy, and various dessert options. A wide range of culinary choices is a must to satisfy the cravings of your visitors. The candidates present a lot of garbage for you to digest, that’s for sure.

4.       Merchandise and Souvenirs

You can’t leave the amusement park without souvenirs that let the world know where you have been to have a good time. This extends the experience beyond the park’s borders. The GOP loves them some souvenirs and letting you know what they think.

5.       Cleanliness and Maintenance

You can’t have a gross park for people to walk around. Cleanliness and maintenance are critical to any successful amusement park. For the record, when I retire, I want to work at an amusement park with a broom and standup dustpan. That’s my dream.

6.       Accessibility and Guest Services

All visitors need to feel welcome regardless of their physical abilities. You also need excellent guest services, including information kiosks, first aid stations, and lost and found services. This idea of helping people sounds woke, doesn’t it?  

7.       Safety and Security

Safety is paramount at amusement parks. You need serious regulations, rigorous safety measures, and well-trained staff to prevent accidents and help visitors enjoy their time. The Law & Order Party should be all over this.

Okay, now that we have the parameter set on what it takes to have a successful amusement park, let’s begin to travel to the magical place inspired by the men and woman who have placed themselves in front of a portion of the American people in hopes of securing their support to lead the most powerful nation in the history of the world.

Let’s dive in.