Happy Birthday Constitution!
It takes 34 of the 50 states to ratify an amendment to the Constitution. To celebrate turning 233, we have ranked the following two states.
What's 233 years old and only has had 27 tweaks over those many years?
The United States Constitution, baby!
Today we shout HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the final rule of law. Don't worry about putting the exact number of candles on the cake. Let's not hurt any feelings, okay?
After a stunning upset of the British Empire, thereby ruining everyone's brackets, The United States needed a contract that bound the 13 newly crowned states together to form a nation.
The first attempt was something called the Articles of Confederation, which is a perfect example of what not to do when forming a government.
Ratified in 1781, the Articles asserted that states were sovereign. Only when all 13 could agree on something would anything be accomplished.
Amazingly, this agreement lasted longer than a week. The idea that each state was independent, and therefore, individual interests and priorities superseded the group of states' common good is not a sustainable solution.
The states all seemed to agree that they didn't want to be ruled by British tyranny, but I guess they asked everyone to pump the brakes on a national currency, trade, or what toppings go on the pizza.
The signers called the AOC idea a League of Friendship. Have you ever seen the League of Exceptional Gentlemen? It's terrible. A League of Their Own, however? Fantastic.
At best, you are going 1 for 3 when you call something a League. If you start throwing in American and National League, then yikes. Toss in Major League Soccer? Woof.
To rectify the situation, the leading white dudes scrapped the Articles and convened a Continental Convention in 1787. A convention back then is what we would call a task force today.
The head of the task force was George Washington. James Madison presented his idea for a stronger federal government, called the Virginia Plan. Some dude named William Paterson offered something like the Articles and called it the New Jersey Plan. After much laughter at the idea of adopting anything from New Jersey, Roger Sherman helped usher in the Connecticut Plan as a compromise.
The Connecticut Plan gives us three branches of government, a Bill of Rights, states and population-based representation, and a manner to enhance or diminish the republic with amendments.
States play a massive role within our system of government. And in celebration, here are the following two lower-tiered states in our rankings. Enjoy!
48: Rhode Island
Founded: May 29, 1790
Do we know the state capital off the top of our head? Yes. Providence.
Have we been there? Yes.
Do we want to go back? Maybe.
Rhode Island did a great job denouncing the British and being the first to call on the Continental Congress to get this new country up and running. They also were the first to send troops in the Civil War. Rhode Island likes to be ahead of the curve. But don't be fooled.
Rhode Island is not an island. The definition of an island is land detached or surrounded by water. Connecticut and Massachusetts surround Rhode Island. The water to its southern border is the only thing that prevents them from being all-out LIARS. For now, we can simply assume they are best, confused.
Did you know that up until 2020, the official name of this state was The State of Rhode Island and the Providence Plantations? They just recently voted to change the name. Not only is Rhode Island well trained in the deception of definition, but they are also shrewd by withholding information on who they really are. WE ARE ON TO YOU, RHODE ISLAND PLANTATION!
Why did we rank it here?
We had a friend who moved to Rhode Island a few years ago. I haven't heard from him since. Does anyone know what Mark is up to? I think he has about 14 kids now. I hope he's happy.
Rhode Island is just sorta, blah. Are we wrong? The largest employer is the state, and that seems pretty uninspiring. What food do you think of when you think of Rhode Island? I can't think of one. I'd ask Mark, but where is he?
Founded: December 29, 1845
Do we know the state capital off the top of our head? Yes. Austin.
Have we been there? Technically, yes.
Do we want to go back? Technically, no.
We are big fans of Luca Doncic, an extremely talented professional basketball player from Slovenia, one of the top two favorite foreign countries. Doncic plays for the Dallas Mavericks, which is on-brand when naming sports teams in Texas. I'm sure there is an indoor soccer team out in Waco called the Waco Texas Is The Greatest Thing Evers.
Six countries used to rule Texas, hence Six Flags Over Texas. Not only is it inferior to the greatest amusement park ever, but it also celebrates being dominated. Texas would wilt on the vine without, say, Rhode Island for all the talk of succession.
Texas is a little like Rhode Island in the idea they want to be first in everything. Except what they end up being first in is being stupid.
Why did we rank it here?
When we initially began thinking this project over, Texas was immediately on our list as number 50. There are plenty of reasons to support this argument, and then we reminded ourselves of Mississippi and bumped Texas up. But not by much.
Here's a big reason we can't get behind Texas. Look at how far the Bush family has fallen in that state; that one Bush is openly trying to cater to the leader of the Republican party who verbally dismantles them at every pass, just to try and win an upcoming primary.
Loving Trump and hating Bush? It’s a long time since this was Texas’s brand.
We are happy to celebrate the Constitution, a remarkable governing document. The foresight these men had to create something so disadvantageous to black people and their future generations while leaving the opportunities to change course is impressive.
One final note. Roger Sherman, the man with the Connecticut Plan? He is the only guy to sign all four primary American documents; the Continental Association (which called for a trade boycott of Britain in 1774), the Declaration of Independence, the Articles of Confederation, and the Constitution. Roger loved to sign his name to anything!
Four states are in the books. I've had some interesting conversations regarding this process. One friend told me he couldn't believe I ranked Idaho so low due to Sun Valley. I've never been there, and he missed out on convincing me.
Don't let that be you! You think your state should be very high or that your partner's state needs to be next in line, let us know!