Johnny Was Good
We celebrate the unfortunate end of a hero and count down another round of states
Happy Friday, Okay History friends! Happy December!
John Brown is one of my favorite historical figures. Born in Connecticut in 1800 to Puritan Christians, John Brown is a decorated hero of the abolition movement.
His specialty was violence, not just any random kind of violence, but the one delivered by God. Brown thought of himself as an “instrument of God” who actively sought to violently engage those who desired to keep enslaved people in bondage.
Brown began his killing ministry in Kansas when deciding whether the Jayhawk state would be admitted into the Union as a slave or free state. In fact, the term Jayhawk refers to the Free State supporters during Bleeding Kansas Crisis which featured violent battles with jerks from Missouri.
In response to pro-slavery monsters who ransacked the town of Lawrence, Kansas, which was settled by good people of Massachusetts, looking to create Kansas into the same mold, Brown and his sons killed five supporters of white nationalism. He would lead the Jayhawks into a couple more battles before setting his sights higher.
In October 1859, Brown moved east to capture the armory in Harper’s Ferry, Virginia. The idea was the start a slave revolt by arming them and then killing as many white people as possible. Brown would then declare a new Constitution for the United States, allowing enslaved people to be free and become citizens. Isn’t he great?
Unfortunately, Brown was captured by Virginia troops led by Robert E. Lee after taking the armory. He was tried for treason against the Commonwealth, convicted, and hung on December 2, 1859, becoming the first person executed for the crime.
It’s crazy that we hung John Brown and built monuments for Lee.
If you have the chance, I recommend reading the historical fiction book, The Good Lord Bird by James McBride. It’s an excellent story told as a first-person narrative of an enslaved boy living with John Brown right up until the Harper’s Ferry Raid. I finished it in January 2020 and gave it four out of five stars. Check it out.
Okay, let's go to the next round of state rankings! I’m back with two states today like I’m raiding the top ten.
8: California
Founded: September 9, 1850
31st state
Do I know the state capital off the top of my head? Sacramento
Have I been there? Yes.
Do I want to go back? Yes, before it breaks away into the ocean.
The Good:
California has it all. It has beautiful beaches, Disneyland, and wineries. It has every climate you want and all the electoral votes. It is the home of the first woman Speaker of the House of Representatives and the best baseball player alive today.
Whatever your interest is, you will find it in California. Name one thing you can’t do in the Golden Bear state. Bzzz. Time’s up. The answer is: nothing.
The Bad:
You can’t afford to live here. No one can except billionaires. Sure they may have all the electoral votes, but they lost one in 2021 for the first time ever.
California is the third most expensive place to live in the U.S., behind New York and another state that I haven’t ranked yet. It’s no coincidence, then, that California leads the country in homelessness.
I haven’t seen people leave a place so fast since my family finished lunch at my college graduation celebration.
Also, have you read the Grapes of Wrath? It’s a story about California. It’s bad.
The Ugly:
December 7, 1941, is a day that will live in infamy. The famous line from President Franklin D. Roosevelt began a ripple effect on Japanese and Japanese Americans living in the United States. Almost immediately, over 125,000 people were rounded up and stuffed into internment camps along the west coast. California led the way with ten.
The federal government forced people from their homes into these camps under the pretense of national security because, obviously, all Japanese people, no matter how far removed they were from Japan, were a threat.
It was one of the ugliest events in our history.
Why did I rank it here?
I have only been to California once in my life. I was there for work and took in San Francisco and Los Angeles. Highlights of this trip included touring Alcatraz and eating the best fish tacos I have ever had while bar hopping in LA.
In related news, I experienced a top five hangovers of all time when traveling back to DC, so you know it was a good trip.
7: West Virginia
Founded: June 20, 1863
35th state
Do I know the state capital off the top of my head? Charleston
Have I been there? Yes
Do I want to go back? Definitely.
The Good:
When you drive into West Virginia, you see the welcome sign that reads Wild and Wonderful, West Virginia, and there isn’t a more accurate statement. I once lost a bet at a party to some random woman when I told her the motto used to be Wet, Wild, and Wonderful, West Virginia, and then I couldn’t find any evidence that it was. It was easily one of the dumbest bets I made, but I immediately paid it off because I ain’t no chump.
But that’s what is great about West Virginia. It brings out the passion in you. West Virginia is beautiful.
The Bad:
When you think of West Virginia, you probably think of poverty, and you wouldn’t be incorrect. It is the fourth poorest state in the country but holds the distinction of being the most northern one. So for residents, I’m sure that is a double whammy.
The Ugly:
West Virginia is the home to white nationalism. Despite its glorious beginning and formation, one that John Brown would be proud of, breaking off from traitorous Virginia over the issue of slavery, the Mountaineer state has done a complete 180-degree turn.
The Southern Poverty Law Center released a report earlier this year stating that West Virginia has six active hate groups, up from three in 2000. Mind you, the three that existed back then are now defunct. These six are SINCE THEN!
The National Alliance, which used to be known as the National Youth Alliance and aligned with George Wallace, is based in Hillsboro. Others include Asatru Folk Assembly, Mass Resistance, Patriot Front, the League of the South, Vdare Foundation, and my favorite, Full Haus, which might be a show where a white family lives together just hating everyone. I betcha it stars Candance Cameron Bure.
Why did I rank it here?
I’m the youngest of five children and the only one not educated at some point in West Virginia. As a kid, my first college experience was traveling two hours east to Wheeling, where both oldest siblings attended. My brother played rugby, lacrosse and managed the on-campus bar. When I was ten, I decided I would be a rugby/lacrosse player/bar manager/popular. Fast forward eight years, I became a campus ministry/theatre/student government/dork.
We have two more weeks of rankings to get through. I’ve decided to give a small prize to anyone who correctly guesses the winner. You must be okay with giving me your address and have low expectations about the winning gift.
The rules are simple:
Guess the winning state.
Do it before Friday, December 9, 2022, at 7:00 a.m. EST when my next round of rankings comes out. You have six choices, and I’m not going to tell you who they are because I presume you know the options.
Just email me at Chris@okayhistory.com with your choice.
Good luck! See you on Monday and until then, have a great weekend.
Okay,
Chris
There’s absolutely no way WV should be ranked ahead of California. You must have a calculation error in your rankings spreadsheet.
I’m the youngest of five children and the only one not educated at some point in West Virginia.
Yeah. What is wrong with you? If I can get a degree in WV without self-destructing, you can too.