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Return to Space
The Maundy Monday Newsletter - This Week in History October 23 - October 29.
I travel a bit for work, which means getting on a plane, flying somewhere, and living in a hotel. Beginning next month, I head to Chicago, South Carolina, Cincinnati, and Memphis. I don’t mind traveling, mainly because they aren’t long trips, and I’ve gotten into grooves that make it easier.
If offered the opportunity to travel to space, I would politely decline. It will sound weird, but I’m not a huge fan of heights. I can fly knowing the likelihood that the plane will crash is slim; there’s little chance the exit door will open because I’m seated right next to it. Being on a plane is experiencing safe heights.
The idea of being blasted into space is not appealing. But for some, they just can’t get enough.
Take John Glenn, for instance. Glenn was the third American in space and the first to orbit the Earth, which I think you put on a business card.
Astronaut. Earth Orbiter.
Glenn was born and raised in Ohio and went to a small college in the middle of nowhere that no one ever heard of.
Like me, he managed to get out of Ohio, and instead of writing a mediocre history publication, he quit the nameless college, enlisted in the United States Navy, and became a fighter pilot in World War II. He continued his aviator career by flying in the Korean War.
By the 1960s, Glenn was considered a pretty good fighter pilot. Around that time, the country established NASA, better known as the National Association of Space Administration. Or something like that.
During his time at NASA, Glenn was chosen to participate in a program that launched men into space, which he did in 1962. John wasn’t concerned with heights, and he sure wasn’t concerned about a lack of gravity.
When Glenn retired from NASA, instead of writing a mediocre history publication, he decided to continue government service, where he would serve as Senator from Ohio from 1974 to 1999.
On October 29, 1998, John Glenn returned to space on the Space Shuttle Discovery. He was 77.
During his last time in space, he participated in sleeping tests, which I would be doing if you launched me into space. It was a success because we brought him down to earth.
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John Glenn ran for president in 1984, but how he ran showed his head was in space because he never campaigned in early caucuses but instead built out 43 state offices across the country.
Here’s some advice to any subscriber thinking of running for president. Spend time trying to win elections in the early states. Don’t spend money on building a state office in Montana just because no one knows who you are in Montana. You have zero chance of making the Montana primary in June because you have burned all your money while losing every election leading up to June.
I hope this information is helpful, and if you need an adviser for your campaign, I’m affordable.
Okay, let's highlight what else happened this week. Here's what I got:
1. Suicide bombers killed 241 US Marines on October 23, 1983. Two suicide bombers attacked the US Marine Barracks in Beirut, Lebanon, during the Lebanese Civil War, which raged from 1975-1990. In the aftermath of the attack, President Ronald Reagan pulled all US Military from the country.
2. The United States invaded Grenada on October 25, 1983. Two days after the Beirut attack, President Reagan ordered troops to invade the Caribbean island and topple the revolutionary government that succumbed to communist Cuba and Russia. The conflict lasted four days because we were super pissed at this point.
3. President Teddy Roosevelt was born on October 27, 1858. The 26th President of the United States is ranked 7th in the Okay History Presidential Power Rankings. He is the first President to win the Nobel Peace Prize, but the local professional baseball team forces him to lose in the 4th inning President's mascot race all the time, which is stupid.
Blue has an appointment with the vet this morning, where he will have surgery to remove a few masts that have grown all over his body. By the time this newsletter hits your inbox, Anonymous and I will drop him off for the day.
When he wakes up, he will have to be in a cone, and there is no doubt he will be really, really, really mad at the both of us. So this week, we will have to keep a watchful eye on him. It's good that neither he nor I are emotional, so this should go well.
But don’t be discouraged; I will return for an Amendment ranking.
Thanks for your continued support of Okay History. Please hit the like button. Also, please send me a question to answer. I can’t find anything to answer.
Which begs the question – what will happen first:
· Me getting a history question to answer? Or
See you later this week. Hope it’s a good one.