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ECM's avatar

I’d love to see your thoughts on which recent VPs would be which potato salad ingredients. My initial thoughts:

Potatoes - Biden, Cheney, GW Bush

Onions and Celery - Harris

Mustard - Mondale

Mayo - Pence

Eggs - Gore

Salt - Quayle (though he strives to be a potato / potatoe)

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Christopher Dake's avatar

I like this! But Quayle has to be a potatoe.

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ECM's avatar

The potato does most of the heavy lifting in a potato salad. It’s *the* core ingredient. A potato VP is one of consequence, if not during their VP stint, then at least later in life.

Quayle was more of an empty suit as VP, the type of VP who didn’t accomplish anything memorable even after he left office. Nobody talks about how good the pinch of salt was in their Memorial Day potato salad, which is why I think Quayle is salt.

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Christopher Dake's avatar

I get what you are saying.

My argument about the strength of potato salad is the mayo. It's the whiteness. I think I may be claiming to be a potato salad racist here, but the potato, golden, red, whatever, doesn't make the salad. It's the mayo. It's the thing that holds it together and gives it taste.

I'm going to have to keep thinking about this.

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C D's avatar

I see what you’re doing there with potato. 😂

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ECM's avatar

Spoiled mayo can ruin a potato salad, but it’s not the key ingredient because no one mayo is differentiated from any other mayo. They all taste about the same. Mayo will only ever be a secondary ingredient at best. I’m willing to die on this hill.

Potatoes are the most important ingredient. PeriodEndOfSemtence. But what makes a great potato salad isn’t the mayo, it’s the other ingredients - a bit of hard boiled egg, finely diced onions, the right amounts and types of mustard and spices.

I agree with you about mayo driving the whiteness, though. That’s why I slotted Pence as a mayo VP, though I could make a case that Pence was even whiter and more bland than mayo.

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Christopher Dake's avatar

Your first paragraph is blasphemy! We had a good run together, ECM. I will speak well of you at your funeral.

Mustard and spices are more important than the mayo, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT DUKES IS MADE OF???!!!!

Obviously not.

Here:

Soybean oil, eggs, water, distilled and cider vinegar, salt, oleoresin paprika, natural flavors, calcium disodium EDTA added to protect flavor.

Oh look, the mayo has the exact ingredients you are mentioning AND MORE! It has "Natural flavors!" What mustard has that?

I don't even know what "disodium EDTA" is, BUT I LIKE IT!

The mayo makes the difference and the next time we are together we are having a potato salad taste test. I will bring the Dukes-made potato salad and you can have your store-bought, mustard-filled hot garbage, KIND SIR.

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ECM's avatar

This app needs a dislike button.

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Christopher Dake's avatar

This app needs a "this information is correct" button.

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C D's avatar

Great post and thank for taking the question. Looking forward to the rankings continue.

Bonus points earned! May your popularity rankings rise by 2 spots....we don’t want to go too fast, then motion sickness kicks in.

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Christopher Dake's avatar

I've stock piled pills to help me feel better when success continues to accelerate.

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Joanne Smith's avatar

This may be one of my favorite articles by you so far, Chris. I loved the cookout analogy and especially laughed at the brilliant comment that the VP is the broccoli salad of the election ballot.

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Christopher Dake's avatar

I actually love broccoli salad, for what's it worth.

I'm glad you liked it!

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