Scandalous
Nothing like a good presidential scandal to spice up an election.
Kerry Washington is an award-winning actress who played the lead role in the political thriller television series Scandal. I have not watched one second of this show, so my description of it will surely be interesting.
Washington plays Oliva Pope, a minority woman who owns a small business in Washington, DC, one that handles crises for important people. She finds herself entangled in a scandal when we watch her become the lover of the president of the United States, played by an ugly white dude who is now on Law & Order.
The character of Pope is partially influenced by another minority small business owner who worked in the White House and helped Clarence Ethics Thomas get on the Supreme Court bench. I don’t think she slept with anyone she worked with.
Anyway, Pope appears to be attracted to ugly white guys, which is a scandal in itself. Still, her firm does the dirty work to protect the people who shouldn’t need protection. They should stop being so scandalous.
The series ran for seven years, and I don’t think I had a girlfriend for the first five, so it explains that I was out looking for one and didn’t watch. Then, for the last two years, I began dating Anonymous, which means I missed those episodes because I was courting her, and I didn’t have time to watch ugly white dudes score beautiful women because I was living it.
Scandal is the theme for this round of presidential election rankings. Scandals follow the White House like Blue follows the scent of people and dogs that walk past him—he’s on it immediately, taking receipts.
Let's dive in.
11: The Presidential Election of 1924
Election Date: November 4, 1924
The Candidates:
Calvin Coolidge was elevated to the presidency when Warren Harding suffered a heart attack and died in a hotel room in San Fransisco. This was after he returned from a vacation to Alaska, which a doctor prescribed to get Warren to calm down. I wonder if that doctor ever got to work again.
Harding and his administration were involved in various scandals even before he took office. But when Coolidge took over, it was 180 degrees different. People nowadays talk about Sleepy Joe; the Republican Party in 1924 had Silent Calvin. The guy never said anything.
The Democrats got together in New York and were distracted by so many fun things to do there because they took 103 ballots, the longest nominating session in presidential convention history, and ended up with John Davis, a former congressman from West Virginia.
When you need over 100 tries to figure out who to nominate, I would say your chances of winning would be slim. This convention also had another first: It was the first one broadcast on the radio.
The Progressive Party was still around and ran its major candidate, Robert M. La Follette, a politician from Wisconsin who had spent most of his life as a Republican.
Major Issue of the Day:
The scandals of the Harding administration took center stage. Also, Americans were still roaring because it was the 1920s.
The Winner:
Coolness.
I think everyone at the time enjoyed the idea of having a super dull president after electing a playboy.
The States in the Electoral College:
48. We had the continental United States, and that was it.
The Electoral College had 531 members, and the winner needed 266 votes.
If you look at the Electoral College map in 1924, you will think that the Civil War decided this election. Coolidge won 35 states, losing Oklahoma and Tennessee, which Harding had won.
Davis was the strong Southern Democratic candidate despite West Virginia not being as racist as it is now. You pick up all the Confederate states when the Ku Klux Klan takes up the majority of the speaking opportunities at your convention—good thing it was broadcasted on the radio!
LaFollette picked up his home state of Wisconsin, so thanks for playing.
The 2021 OKH Presidential Ranking:
I ranked Coolidge 30, the best spot of the third-tier presidents. He didn’t like the Klan, so props there, but he basically didn’t want to be president, as evidenced by his not running in 1928, and put the government in a position where a Great Depression would happen.
Why Did I Rank it Here:
Coolidge would inspire a generation of conservative politicians. Ronald Reagan loved Coolidge so much that Cal’s portrait hung in the Oval Office. I find the love for a guy who didn’t like being a legislator mindboggling. So why is his election ranked 11th? Excellent question.
You could say it’s scandalous it’s this high.
It’s cool to be the guy to follow the guy who was involved in a scandal. Imagine being the guy directly involved in numerous scandals, some of which are made up. And you are up for reelection.
Let’s dive in.
10: The Presidential Election of 1996
Election Date: November 5, 1996
The Candidates:
Bill Clinton took the presidency in 1992, despite the press who chased him about his past sexual escapades. I thought Bill Bradley ran against Clinton in the primaries, but he waited until 2000, so no one challenged the sitting president.
The Republicans were ready to jump at the opportunity to reclaim the White House. Despite a successful economic turnaround, Clinton’s nefarious conduct was ripe for a reemerging Party of Lincoln.
So they rounded up every old white guy they could find and stuffed the arena in San Diego, California, because why not?
And in the end, Bob Dole, the senator from Kansas, became the nominee. He was 73 at the time.
Major Issue of the Day:
The first four years of the Clinton administration were rocky. People died mysteriously, got haircuts where they weren’t supposed to, and had nannies they weren’t paying taxes on.
We ignored all of that because the economy was doing well.
The Winner:
Controversy.
Drama and conspiracy hounded Clinton, along with his wife and future presidential candidate, Hillary. By defeating Dole, a man who warned us during one presidential debate that the next four years would be clouded with Clinton dustups, we showed the world that controversy wasn’t a big deal—at least not your personal life.
The States in the Electoral College:
50. Don’t forget it’s 50 + 1 because you have to count Washington, DC, which has never voted for a Republican.
The Electoral College had 538 members, and the winner needed 270 votes.
Clinton won 31 states, while Dole won all the states George HW Bush won in 1992. Dole managed to flip Georgia, so he can say he performed better in that regard, but Clinton smoked him in the Electoral College 379-159.
I completely forgot that Ross Perot ran again but only received eight million votes, half the votes he had in 1992. And, like in 1992, Ross won zero states.
The 2021 OKH Presidential Ranking:
Bill Clinton comes in at 15. Did you watch his speech at the DNC convention last week? My goodness, that guy rambled on and on. I’m good at talking for an extended period, but I’m not doing it to a national audience. Hopefully, this will be the last time any Clinton speaks at such an event.
Why Did I Rank it Here:
This was the first presidential election I got to vote in. In the 7th grade, I wrote a mediocre essay about how excited I would be when I turned 18 and got to vote in one of these. Then, when the moment arrived, I had Bill Clinton and Bob Dole to choose from.
I cast my ballot for Dole. It would be the last time I voted for a Republican. The moment did not reach the hype of my young teenage dreams. But easily a top-ten election. Has to be.
I’m excited about scandals becoming next year's ranking. Thanks to WCW, who suggested it:
I think this is a good idea. Does anyone concur?
It’s the end of August, which means the end of summer.
Do you ever get confused about August having 31 days? Why do the months vary from 30 to 31? Wouldn’t it be easier to have 30 days across the board? Then, someone announces the months where we allocate those extra five days to ensure we get 365 days.
I would add a few days around Thanksgiving because people pretty much take off around Thanksgiving. It would be a nice break before we do it again next month.
I would add days around the Fourth of July and find more holidays to celebrate the contributions of nonwhite people to our country.
Do you like this idea? What months would you add days to?
I’m asking a lot of questions this morning.
I’ll be back on Monday and leave for Ireland on Tuesday. I’m not even close to being ready for this trip, but it should be fun!
Have a great holiday weekend!
Okay,
Chris
“I didn’t have time to watch ugly white dudes score beautiful women because I was living it.”
Well played, Chris. You’re getting good at this marriage thing.
Love the idea of a ranking by intrigues and scandals!! Fun to research and fun to read, I'm sure.