TeleWhoops
The government can create wars over failing to secure proper communication channels.
The recent scandal concerning our Secretary of Defense—our DUI hire, if you will—involves the secretary conducting a group text on Signal, a chat-based platform. After gaining permission, not from the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff or the President of the United States himself, but instead a Duke graduate who is worse at explaining civics than I am, the secretary signed off on bombing a foreign adversary.
We only knew about it because someone included The Atlantic's editor-in-chief in the group. (In full disclosure, Anonymous and I subscribe to The Atlantic, if you care or if that means anything —we recently got a nice tote bag.)
The problem with Signal is that it doesn’t record communications for administrative purposes, so the current administration used another app that would. The only problem is that TeleMessage needs to be renamed TeleEverybody because it has been breached several times.
The entire episode was bonkers and reiterated that the government must securely communicate within its structure, or it could become a huge international problem.
In this edition of Okay History’s Scandal Rankings, we look at how a foreign adversary tried to communicate with a neighbor about our possible involvement in a world war. The communication was intercepted, which was very bad for the nation that sent it.
And the cherry on top of this diplomatic sundae Scandal is now named after the person who screwed it up.
Let’s dive in.
# 31. The Zimmermann Telegram Scandal
Introduction
World War I broke out in 1914 when a Serbian nationalist assassinated some random Austrian Archduke. This jump-started a bunch of alliances determined by treaties where Russia backed the Serbs, the Germans backed the Austrians, and then invaded Belgium to get Great Britain involved, and eventually, Europe was deep into the First World War, with battles in the trenches one inch at a time.
The United States was isolated and neutral from all the killing happening across the Atlantic. Our president at the time, Woodrow Wilson, was most likely distracted because his wife was dying, and he was most definitely running around on her before she passed away in 1915.
In the 1916 election, Wilson won reelection based on the promise to keep us out of the European War that everyone thought would have been over by Christmas back in 1914.
Mounting pressure from the Allies (Great Britain, France, and Russia) to get the United States into the war would help tip the scales in their favor. Meanwhile, the Germans and their Central Powers partners (Austria-Hungary, the Ottoman Empire, and Bulgaria) wanted to ensure the Americans stayed far away from European soil.
And the German foreign secretary caused a colossal blunder and ended up helping the enemy.
Background
It’s probably true to suggest that the Americans eventually would have gotten involved in the war, because at the beginning of the 20th century, the world was getting smaller, and the fates of everyone were becoming more and more intertwined.
German Foreign Secretary Arthur Zimmermann would speed up that process by cabling his ambassador in Mexico with essential strategies in case the Americans didn’t sit out the war.
So Zim fired up the Signal app of the time, the telegram, that stated if the United States could not stay out of the war, Germany and Mexico should form an alliance, like they do on Big Brother.
If they successfully “voted out” the United States, Mexico would receive the territories it lost back in the 1840s when the US took its talents to Mexico and came away with Texas, New Mexico, California, and a bunch of other places.
Outcome
I’m not sure how difficult intercepting telegrams was, but the British were pretty good at it. They seized the encrypted message, saw the devilish details, and kept the information in their back pocket until the Germans did something terrible to the US in the coming months.
Fortunately for them and the Allies, Germany would help them out with that.
The British had effectively blocked the German navy from moving around the Atlantic. Germany had given their promise not to increase the deadly form of submarine warfare, but because of this blockage said “screw it” but in German, and began sinking ships.
This meant the United States and Germany had cut off diplomatic ties by mid-February 1917.
The British then pounced. They supplied the Wilson administration with the Zimmermann telegram.
Game on.
Reaction
The American people lost their minds. By the 1910s, the United States was full of immigrants from all over Europe, and in 1915, the Germans sank the Lusitania, a British ocean liner that the Germans claimed was carrying weapons (it was). 128 Americans died off the coast of Ireland.
So, angry sentiment towards the Germans was mounting. The British continued to pump anti-German propaganda into the States, a much more effective strategy than telegrams to diplomats.
In March 1917, the Zimmermann telegram splashed across the headlines of newspapers nationwide. The following month, Congress declared war on Germany, back when we actually had Congress declare war, like Congress should.
When the Americans crossed the Atlantic later that year, the tide did indeed turn to the Allies, and World War I ended a year later on November 11, 1918, which was called Armistice Day, which is now Veterans Day. (President Trump now wants to rename it World War I Victory Day or something.)
It’s funny that Defense Secretary Hegseth and Vice President Vance didn’t think anyone could see their group chat messages from something you can download on your phone, like a step tracker. In standard procedure, they took no responsibility for the error.
The thing I love about the Zimmermann Telegram is that Arthur owned it. He took responsibility, even if he argued that he wasn’t serious or whatever.
Crazy, huh?
Okay, so what do you think? Let’s take a poll:
We made American history on Thursday when the Catholic College of Cardinals elected Robert Francis Prevost the 267th Bishop of Rome.
Prevost was born in Chicago, graduated from Villanova University in Philadelphia, and entered the
Priesthood in 1982.
He joined the Augustinian Religious order (Villanova is an Augustinian school) and quickly rose to the top
of its leadership. He worked in Peru, becoming the Bishop of Chiclayo, one of the largest cities in the
country in the upper northwest. It was during this time that Bishop Prevost became a dual citizen.
In 2023, Pope Francis selected him to become a Cardinal and put him in charge of vetting potential
bishops worldwide. This essential position put him in front of many cardinals worldwide, and being well-known within the Vatican hierarchy surely helped his candidacy.
Earlier this year, Francis elevated Prevost to a senior Cardinal role, which indicated to others that he was
Francis’s preferred successor. We won’t know for a year or so, but it looks like other cardinals that Francis appointed over the dozen years he was in charge agreed.
Prevost selected the name Leo XIV.
The last pope named Leo was in the late 1800s—early 1900s. Leo XIII was considered a pope for the workers. He promoted ideas about worker rights, fair wages, and unions. These are ideas and entities that capitalists don’t care for.
Taking this name and other aspects of Leo XIII's pontificate (Augustinian and St. Thomas Aquinas
influences), you can presume that Leo XIV will also focus on many of the same elements.
Anyway, it’s an exciting time, especially in the United States, where no one ever thought we could have an American Pope, yet here we are. Leo XIV is the most consequential American in the world right now—maybe ever.
It’s been quite a lot to process, for sure. Not much work got done on Thursday or Friday, but I played golf on Friday. It was for work, okay?
Having said all of that, I will be back on Monday with the Maundy Morning Newsletter. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers! I hope it’s a great day of love and celebration for all the great things to do for us.
Okay,
Chris
