Jacking Around
In Consequence Free World you can do whatever you want.
We are a little over 50 days into President Trump's Part Two: Elon Strikes Back, and we have yet to see anything substantial about uncovering corruption or abuse.
But I want to stop for a second and complain about the three words on everyone’s lips today: waste, fraud, and abuse.
Well, two of those things sound similar. I understand fraud – that's illegal. I’m not sure what abuse is. Are piles of money beating people? Is the Pentagon budget bullying people online? What does abuse mean, exactly? Waste, of course, is in the eye of the beholder and should be up for constant, well-meaning debate.
It bugs me when people describe Washington in negative ways. I always give people a side eye when they apologize when I tell them where I live. I’m not sure why people can’t grasp that not everyone in DC works for the government.
But Washington, DC, and its power can’t be ignored. It attracts smart, handsome, funny, well-meaning people like me, and it also brings in people who only come here to get rich by peddling favors and doing all the stuff Elon Musk and gang of teenagers are supposedly exposing.
Like Jack Abramoff.
Abramoff is an old school Republican who knew where all the dead bodies were buried in this town. He was the perfect mix of greed and corruption, and he also had a dash of Hollywood flare.
It was another scandal I experienced early in my life here in the nation’s capital.
Today, we look into the life and misdeeds of the man they call “Casino Jack.”
Let’s dive in.
# 36. The Jack Abramoff Scandal
Introduction
Jack Abramoff was born a year before we entered the 1960s, which I think explains why he grew up the way he did. His father was in charge of Diner’s Club International, a credit card company for dorks.
At ten years old, the Abramoffs moved from New Jersey to Beverly Hills, California, because, hey, why not? It was during high school that Jack became a bully. One incident reached the Jewish Newspapers, where he pushed a classmate and his cello down a flight of stairs. That classmate became a Pulitzer Prize-winning food critic for The Los Angeles Times.
For college, Jack went back to the east coast where he graduated from Brandies and really honed in on being a Jack Ass. He got involved with the College Republicans, presumably only had friends who wore suit jackets, and by the time 1980 rolled around, he was working for his hero, Ronald Reagan, the Governor of California, who was running for president.
After Reagan won and Jack graduated, he leaned into the College Republican World View, becoming the president of their national committee. During his tenure, he developed his network of dorks, including Grover Norquist, who would lead an organization dedicated to never raising taxes.
Jack moved to DC and jumped right into scandals. He worked with a group that helped Oliver North break the law during the Iran-Contra Scandal, which you may or may not learn about in the future. He became so immersed in the Cold War that he spent a lot of time and energy being anti-communist and anti-Soviet Union.
In 1986, Jack graduated from Georgetown University Law School and married Pamela Clarke, who would run one of his many phony nonprofits, which helped him launder money and become all corrupt.
Background
Abramoff was a DEI hire for a law firm in Seattle, where Bill Gates’s dad was a principal. Being the lone conservative in a primarily left-leaning practice, Jack’s job was to get in good with the Christian Coalition, a group of people who no doubt used Diner’s Club International credit cards to pay for things.
Instead of doing that, Abramoff formed his own Corrupt Coalition, and he began with lobbying on behalf of Native American Tribes who were getting into the casino game.
Jack was naturally gifted at connecting with people and their bank accounts. He successfully lobbied against a bill that would tax Native American-owned casinos, and in the process, he bought himself a few Republican Congressmen. One of those guys was House Majority Leader Tom DeLay. Another was Bob Ney, a random Congressman from my home state of Ohio.
The friendship between DeLay, Ney, and Jack would mutually benefit all of them if they lived in Consequence Free World, but instead, they lived in a world with the rest of us. Jack would pay off members of the staff or give Ney campaign contributions. He would hire former staffers, violating the one-year cooling off period for people to move from Congress to lobbying firms.
What was great about this was that Jack would set up Christian Coalition leader Ralph Reed to lobby against the casinos, which would force the casinos to pay Jack more money to lobby against the Christian Coalition. Jack would then overbill the tribes and use that money to build a corrupt underworld of influence over Congress.
Outcome
The good thing about people like Jack is that they are arrogant, which usually means they are pretty dumb. His operation went down like a sweet muffin when media outlets and congressional committees began snooping around. Jack helped them by emailing everyone on Team Abramoff about his work. He even used derogatory terms to describe his clients.
In 2006, Jack was charged and pleaded guilty to bribing politicians. Congressman Ney also pleaded guilty to conspiracy and lying to authorities. Ney said he didn’t know how awful Jack was and only voted on bills based on merit. Sure.
After serving 43 months in prison, during which time he taught fellow inmates how to write screenplays, Jack was back in the lobbying game. In 2017, he was hired to lobby on behalf of the cryptocurrency industry, which should be a natural evolution for someone who is used to being around people who use Diner Club International credit cards.
The thing is, Jack didn’t register as a lobbyist, which made him violate the Lobbying Disclosure Act of 1995. What’s funny is that the act was updated in 2007 due to Jack’s illegal activities. It was called the JACK Act. All he had to do was write down on a piece of paper all the things he was convicted of as a lobbyist so people would know—like people didn’t know Jack Abramoff.
The Securities and Exchange Commission and the Department of Justice charged him and in 2020, Jack pleaded guilty, again.
Reaction
Lobbying has a bad name because it seems to attract bad people. I never watched the television show K Street, and K Street itself is not really that impressive – it’s just a street lined with office buildings. There used to be a Burger King and a car wash.
But in a democracy, especially a federal constitutional republic, the right to lobby your representatives to vote in your interest is fundamental. Unfortunately, people generally suck, because we are flawed beings, and successful lobbying usually means you have a ton of money. Somehow, that money must be transferred to those who want to be influenced.
You don’t need to buy members of Congress or even the president. You can get yourself a few Supreme Court Justices as well. All of this is funny because we assume people will be punished. That’s not really the case anymore, but I hold out hope.
Okay, so what do you think? Let’s take a poll:
It’s been a wild week. Please keep my Mom, siblings, me, and Anonymous in your prayers. My Aunt passed away on Wednesday. She was 91. Her name is Mary Alice, but she went by her nickname Mitzi and she was easily the biggest Cleveland Browns fan ever. Thank you!
I’ll be working all weekend, but have no fear. I’ll be back on Monday and ready to deliver that week’s history lesson.
Thanks for supporting Okay History. I’m grateful to you all!
Okay,
Chris
